Mirrored Smiles
by DoitsuDeutschland
Summary: East is trying to escape into the west and the young boy is trying to help with this, even if his estrange father, a man he was trying to hide from, has to help him. Sequel to my RusGer story, Krasivaya Devushka


... *sigh* I'm obsessing again. I do this every time I get into a pairing or a fandom and though I've been a RusGer fan since very late 2009 (I never said anything, I just kept quiet since I barely saw anything for it), I'm only just now showing off my love for it. There's probably a reason but I'm not sure what that reason is.

Though part of me thinks it's pixiv's bleeding fault since I found the tags for RusGer. But enough of that, you people don't give a shit about the author and just care for what the author brings to you.

Summery: It's been ten years since the day in the market and things are getting difficult for Berlin. East is trying to escape into the west and the young boy is trying to help with this, even if his estrange father, a man he was trying to hide from, has to help him.

Warning: anger (a lot of anger in this story), cussing, mentioned character death, mentioned rape

Pairings: Past Ivan/Ludwig and past Ivan/Louise

I own nothing but little Nicholas, though he is owned by his parents as well, the plot my twist on the suggestion that M-u-n-c-h-y gave me. Thank you!

NOTE! Ivan works as a border guard, this is before the Berlin Wall but there was still a divider between parts of the city. This is why Ivan is still in Germany. That and he doesn't want to go home, which you'll understand later on in this story. Also, people were being helped across the border and it was difficult to help East Germans into the west. (My complete knowledge isn't the best, I haven't studied the Cold War in forever so forgive me for mistakes!)

On with the fic.

* * *

><p>Mirrored Smiles<p>

* * *

><p>Nicholas never told his mother about his curiousity towards his estranged father, the man named Ivan Braginski. Oh he figured it out when he was around ten, Nicholas was a smart child and had caught on to his mother's hatred for the man he shared similar features with.<p>

The boy had taken an interest in finding out more on his father, he could only put together a small part of the puzzle that was presented before him. He knew that Ivan had raped his mother and that in turn created the young German-Russian. But he also picked up on his Uncle Ludwig's dislike for the Russian, did he know him as well?

Asking was out of the question, again he would only get empty answers. Aunt Maria wasn't able to give him any information, she wasn't there to see what happened. She probably knew who Ivan was only because of what her siblings probably told her. Uncle Gilbert... well, dead men tell no tales, right?

And just going up and speaking to Ivan was like asking for a starving bear to eat you with a smile on your face. Nicholas had found the man on multiple occassions but kept his distance, always being careful to stay out of earshot and sight of the taller man. He watched him, wondering who Ivan was. He didn't seem crazy, but he had a temper and was a bit of a loner, always keeping away from most people.

Nicholas had caught him pestering a poor Lithuanian man on several occassions and even getting into fights with Alfred, the American soldier who decided to just live in Germany. Nicholas had asked Alfred about Ivan, in secret, and the blond told him that Ivan was a strange man. He talked as if he was two people at times and was almost always smiling. He was a very violent person, Alfred had added on.

This made Nicholas even more uncomfortable, would he have inherited any of his father's issues? No, he had yet to show any sign anger of dementia, Nicholas was a sweet boy, a good boy, someone who loved to help people. Yes, he loved to help people, help them escape into the West, to freedom.

For you see, Nicholas had joined his Aunt Maria in helping East Berliners into entering West Berlin when things got worse for the city. They worked with several other people, secretly working to help people escape thanks to help they get from those on the other side. Aunt Maria got into this business because of two friends from her childhood with Uncle Gilbert.

Roderick and Elizabeta Edelstein were people who could easily get from the West to the East because of how high ranking they were, but they were part of the group that got people out. Nicholas joined when he found out what was going on, saying he wanted to help. Was he really just helping or was he trying to get caught by his father? To finally speak to the man after so long and get the truth from him?

The boy decided to not think on it, it would be bad if he were to do so. And what did he need to worry about Ivan for, the man hurt his family, he should just forget about him and continue with his life.

But why does the man with violet eyes so much like his own haunt him so?

* * *

><p>"Come on, it's just over here." Maria spoke softly, keeping an eye on her surroundings. She and Nicholas were on yet another run to help people across the East-West border, using a special tunnel they had found in the ruins of an abandoned building. It seems that there was a trap door that lead into the sewers under the city and allowed people into the west.<p>

It was terrible going down into the sewers, but luckily the guards had yet to catch them since they never went in this area. But it was still best to be careful, especially right now since they had a family of eight they were helping.

Nicholas perked up when he noticed a British man near the building, waving at them. Arthur Kirkland was a man who was in on all of this and usually stood guard. Maria and Nicholas carefully moved the family closer, they were a little over half a mile but could still tell that was Arthur over there.

Tonight looked to be an easy- "Halt!" Suddenly a voice broke out into the night and the group heard the sound of feet running.

"Aunt Maria, get the family out of here!" Nicholas hissed. "I'll distract them."

"No, you little fool!" Maria glared. "You're going with them, I'll do the distracting."

"No, I'm faster then you, I'll be fine, just wait for me." With that, he was gone, not even waiting for a responce. Nicholas rushed close to the guards that had been alert and made a sound. "Come and get me!" He yelled in a deep voice, trying to make it seem like he was an adult rather then a fifteen year-old. Luckily he was tall (hell, he was the tallest in his class and grade), so it seemed like he was an adult.

A flashlight was pointed in his direction and the guards caught only a slight glimps of him before he rushed behind a building nearby. This wasn't the first time he had to get past the Stasi and he knew it probably wouldn't be the last. Nicholas was fast, he knew how to hide well, he would totally get to safety without those men seeing him again.

'There is no sign of them, but I can still hear them.' The teen frowned as he ducked behind a set of crates. He heard the mix of Russian and German being spoke along with the sound of feet. He knew they were looking for him, hopefully they wouldn't come ne-

"Found you."

Nicholas almost screamed in surprise and turned around, facing a scarf-covered neck and a broad chest. He didn't have to look up to know who it was, this made Nicholas narrow his eyes. "You." He spat as if he had a horrible taste in his mouth.

"Me?" Ivan blinked, looking down at the other. "What about me? If I were you I would not have such an attitude," he pulled a gun from the holster on his hip, having it pointed at Nicholas, "when a gun is at kill point."

"Do you remember me?" Nicholas spoke, his eyes on the ground.

Ivan paused, the boy did seem familiar, but he wouldn't know until he saw his face. Ivan was good at remembering faces. Using the gun, he placed it under the boy's chin and tilted up his head, looking into a pair of glaring violet eyes. The expression was one that Ivan knew all too well, he could almost see the look that the beautiful German man from that day gave him, the one that bore into Ivan's mind.

The face looked like the German man's, but also by the pretty German girl he met later on, the one that he saw again in the market place with the little boy that Ivan had... Violet eyes widened and Ivan just looked at him. "You, you are the child from that day. The one who brought me my flask."

"Nicholas Beilschmidt, or should it be Nicholas Braginski since you're the one who helped to create me."

There was tension in the air, only to be broken when someone came running nearby. Ivan warned Nicholas to stay put as he walked out of the alley they hid in. "Ah, comrade," The Russian began, "have you found the man yet?"

"No, have you seen anything Braginski?" The man reply and Ivan shook his head.

"I have not, but I'll keep looking in this area, try over there, he may have went that way." Ivan pointed in another direction and the man thanked him before running off. Ivan waited a moment before turning to find Nicholas glaring at him. "If you wish to return to your side, follow me."

"Why should I?"

There was silence before Ivan spoke, holding out his hand. "Because I am not a bad person." Nicholas looked at him before stepping away from the crates and taking Ivan's hand. Suddenly he was yanked and had to keep from tripping at the older man moved fast, careful of being spotted. He pulled Nicholas into a building, unlocking the door before shoving Nicholas inside.

As Ivan relocked the door from the inside, Nicholas looked about to find they were in some old bar. "How do you have a key for this?" He asked as Ivan lit a few candles that were scattered around the place.

"The owner gave it to me before running off somewhere. I think he's dead now." Ivan replied in a calm fashion, pulling a cigarette case from his jacket pocket before lighting one of the sticks. He offered one to the boy who rejected it. Ivan shrugged and sat down on one of the dusty stools, watching the younger man. "Were you the one the Stasi are after?"

"Yes, what's it to you? Are you going to turn me in?" Nicholas replied, his eyes narrowing one more. Normally he was a nice, and very shy boy, but sometimes he was stubborn and would not take things lightly.

Ivan took a puff of smoke before sighing. "I don't think it would do either of us any good. I don't want to see a child get sent to jail for something like this."

"I'm not a child."

"You look to be in your teens, close enough, da?"

"Hmph." Nicholas sat down on a deserted table, making it out in the dim light of the candles. "Are you trying to help me because I'm a 'child' or is it because you know that I am your child?"

The older Russian looked at the younger with tired eyes. "Possibly both. But maybe it is because I have already hurt people you share blood with, if I turn you in, I will only continue to tarnish my name in the eyes of your family."

"You know the rest of my family then?" Nicholas raised an eyebrow.

He recieved a nod. "Da." He took another intake before blowing out smoke. "Do you know all the things I've done?"

"N-not really... just that you raped my mother. I don't know all the details but I figured that's what you did..." Nicholas frowned a little, looking at Ivan, who looked back at him.

"So you don't know what exactly I did to your mother and to your uncles?"

"So you did do something to my uncles? What did you do?"

Ivan gave him a look, saying something about how a child should not hear of such things. Nicholas protested agaisnt this, saying he could handle whatever Ivan had to say. The taller man look at him, it was scary seeing him being so serious right now, Nicholas liked the smiling Ivan from his childhood. With a heavy sigh, Ivan spoke.

"I raped the blond German named Ludwig and shot the white haired one in the chest right in front of Ludwig's eyes. I killed your uncle."

There was silence and Nicholas gripped the table, just looking at him with a wide-eyed expression. "You... you killed my... why? Why would you do that? And why you rape my Uncle Ludwig!"

"Because I could."

"Huh?" Nicholas blinked, the voice Ivan spoke in sounded so tired, so sick of all this shit. He didn't sound like a child, he sounded like his true age.

"I was reckless when I was younger. I enjoyed the thrill of having power. I met your uncles during the capture of Berlin in the final days of the war in Europe. I had entered the building to find anything of value or to find a hiding German. Well, I found them in there and I was... well... attracted to Ludwig, still am actually. I wanted him for myself, but your other uncle... I do not remember his name at the moment, he was there and he was in my way.

"I felt like being nice and made an offer with them, if the white haired one did not bother me while I was with Ludwig, I would let him live. Ah, but the man got in my way again, tried to kill me even though he was bleeding to death from a deadly gun shot wound. Well, I pulled out my own gun and ended his misery." He sighed before continuing.

"Da, it wasn't the smart think to do, but it was mostly for self defense. I was trained to kill, and that is what I did. But I felt bad afterwards, knowing that I had killed the brother of the prekrasnyĭ malʹchik who was the object of my desire, my want. But during the moment, I was consumed with lust and just forgot about everything that wasn't Ludwig. When I finished... I felt bad for what I did. But Ivan doesn't always know what he's doing! Sometimes he just acts on impulse!"

He paused a moment, watching Nicholas with calculating eyes. He saw that Nicholas just watched him in return, a blank expression on his face. The boy closed his eyes and shook his head. "You're a monster."

"I know I am."

"Did... did you know what you were doing when you hurt Mama...? Do you know that she is uncomfortable around guys because of you?" He bit his lip, gripping the table even harder. "My Mama can't look me in the eye because of you, I think she sees you in my eyes, they're so similar! What did you do to scare my Mama like that? Did you do it on purpose or did you act on 'impulse'?"

Ivan was quiet for a moment and he put out his cigarette into the bar's countertop. He looked at Nicholas as if he was giving up the battle. "I did not want to hurt her, I was just... I don't know why I did what I did. I wanted her, she was so beautiful, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I want to make her mine, but I could not control myself, I attacked, like an animal."

He stood up and walked over, looking at Nicholas. "I felt horrible for what I had done. I found out that your mother was related to Ludwig and to the white haired man. I found out that she was a little sister who had brothers and an older sister. Do you know how horrible it is to find out that you did something life scaring to a family that is similar to your own?"

Nicholas looked at him. "W-what do you mean?"

"I am a brother... I _was _a brother." Ivan frowned, his expression was like that of a child who had done bad in their parents' eyes. "My sisters, one older and one younger, died years ago. I went home to Russia years ago and learned that they had been..." He bit his lip, looking away. "The guilt became worse after I learned this. Someone had done something similar to what I had done, but my sisters had... they took their own lives to escape the shame."

The boy suddenly felt horrible about his attitude towards his father moments before. Ivan had been feeling terrible about what he had done years ago because something similar happened to his own family. It could almost be considered ironic, an eye for an eye, but it was still a terrible thing to happen to someone.

Ivan sat down on the table with Nicholas, still looking away. "They were my only family... and now I am alone. I cannot go back to my home in Russia, I burned it down, I will not return to where my sisters' blood stained the floors. I am alone... I hate being alone."

Nicholas looked at him, almost reaching out a hand but hesitated for a second. For years now, the boy had been angry with his father, hating him and also being curious of him. But now... it seems that the anger had died down a bit, becoming pity. Reaching out, Nicholas placed a hand on Ivan's own, catching the older man's attention.

"I am family, yes? I may not know you that well and you do not know me in return, but we share blood. That makes us family, right?"

They looked at one another and Ivan smiled, an actual smile to which Nicholas produced his own. They looked similar, something else the two shared. "You are a wise child Nicholas, but I do not think it would be wise for you to continue being here, you must go back."

"Yes, my aunt might be wondering where I am by now." Nicholas jumped off the table and waited for Ivan to blow out the candle before the two left, going into the moonlit streets.

"Do not tell the other guards about this place." Nicholas warned Ivan as he walked into the broken building, opening the trap door hidden by a broken chimney. Ivan just nodded and watched as Nicholas looked about and down into the tunnel that had been built under the door. "Alright, I can go."

"Okay." Ivan nodded again and helped Nicholas into the hole.

Nicholas looked up at Ivan once he was in the tunnel. "Thank you Ivan. Maybe... maybe we can meet again. I don't like what you did to my family, but you are a good person when you want to be. And... I'm sorry about your sisters."

"They are in a better place child, and you're welcome. Now go, before it is too late." Just as Nicholas was about to close the door, Ivan spoke up again. "Oh, and Nicholas?"

"Yes?"

"I would like to meet you again someday, and hopefully you will see me as your father, even enough to call me one." The Russian smiled softly, the boy nodded and returned the smile.

"Good bye."

"Poka." Ivan spoke so casually, smiling once more as the door was shut and it returned to look like normal floor boards. The Russian stood there for a moment and looked up at the ceiling, seeing the moon's light through the holes that littered the roof.

"Child, I will never be your father, I do not have it in me. I don't want to harm your family again." Images of tear filled blue eyes, icy eyes that glared deeply at him, crimson eyes filled with fear and hatred swam about in Ivan's mind and he sat there, placing his head into his hands.

"Natalia, Katsuya, forgive me for what I had done to that boy's dear loved ones..."

* * *

><p>"Nicholas!" Louise stood right up and hugged her son close to her body as he entered their home, Maria closing the door once she stepped inside. "You had be so worried, I thought you had been captured!"<p>

"I'm fine Mama." Nicholas spoke, looking into the worried blue eyes of his mother. He noticed that she was actually looking him in the eye, but she only did this when she was worried or very proud of him, right now it was the former reason. "I was able to hide from the guards."

"Yeah, how were you able to do that, you never told me." Maria spoke as she looked at him.

The boy was quiet for a moment. "Well... I had some help..."

"From who?" Ludwig asked, getting up from where he had been sitting at the dining room table. Nicholas felt uncomfortable, where was the bravery he had earlier when he spoke to Ivan?

"From... please don't be angry with me Mama, but I was helped back by a man named Ivan!"

Louise looked at him, as did Ludwig, fear showing in their similar eyes. "I-Ivan?" Louise questioned, sounding uncertain.

"Yes, it was the same Ivan from that day in the market when we got seperated... the guy who... hurt you and Uncle Ludwig and killed Uncle Gilbert... the man who is my father..."

There was silence in the room and Louise paled, Ludwig went ridged and Maria gasped. "How... how did you know of those things? Of what he did?" Ludwig asked, his voice was quiet.

"I figured out that he hurt Mama, and in turn made me. I mean, it is very obvious with how we look so much alike. And he told me what he did." Again, silence filled the room before Louise sighed and looked at her boy, her expression unreadable.

"Nicholas, I want you to never speak to him again."

"But Mama, what he did was so long ago and he too had to deal with the pain of having people he loved get hu-!"

"Nicholas Gilbert Beilschmidt!" She raised her voice and Nicholas stopped speaking. "I-I don't care, I just don't. I hate him, I hate him for what he did. I don't want you speaking to him or speaking of him, ever."

Nicholas frowned before slamming his foot on the ground. "How can you hate him for what he did if you love me? What he did created me! Does that me you hate me as well?"

Louise was taken back by this. "Nicholas... no, I do love you, I really do. You're my son, my wonderful little boy..."

"But then why do you hate him for making me, I know what he did was terrible and there is probably no way he could ever redeem himself for what he has done. But he too has lost someone he loved, having to know that his only family went through something terrible, only to end their suffering at their own hands!"

His mother was quiet for a moment before she looked at Nicholas. "I see. But I can never forgive him, though you are something that I love with all my heart, I wish that you had not been created from such events. And I hate him for killing my brother and hurting your uncle like he did me. Nicholas, you may forgive him, but I can't."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I want you to understand that I would just feel better if you didn't interact with him. He may be your father but... I just don't trust him. Do you understand?"

Nicholas looked at her, seeing the concern in his mother's eyes. He understood what she was getting at, she was looking out for him like she always did. Though he wanted to tell her that Ivan felt guilty for what he had done and was sorry, he understood that it would take a long time for her to even give a care about him. "I understand."

Louise smiled a little and kissed his head, telling him to go to bed for it was late and he still had school tomorrow. Once in bed, Nicholas laid there fully awake and thinking about what happened that evening. His mind was on his father, he felt bad for yelling at him, getting so worked up without even knowing how Ivan had felt about his actions.

He closed his eyes and decided to just drift off to sleep, his mind still on the older man.

* * *

><p>Ivan wandered about the city in a daze, his mind was still focused on Nicholas, Louise and Ludwig. The horrible guilt and depression towards his actions came back last night, after he had almost surpressed the emotions and thoughts.<p>

He hadn't realized where he had ended up, it was the bar where he had spoken to Nicholas the night before. He frowned when he noticed something on the steps outside of the bar. It was a sunflower with a little note on it, his name was written on it. Weird, no one really knew Ivan pretty much owned this bar and there weren't many people in the area to leave something for him.

Picking up the note, Ivan read what was written on the back.

_'Hello, I just wanted to thank you for helping me last night. This sunflower, I remember it's your favorite flower, is a little token of thanks and to cheer you up because of what happened last night. _

_My mother is not happy that you helped me and says I have to stay away from you. I don't want to, I want to know you a bit more. Maybe I can someday. _

_-Nicholas Beilschmidt'_

The Russian looked at the note before looking at the flower again, he giggled at this, smiling a bit. "Glupyĭ malʹchik~, who knows when someday will be." He put the note in his pocket and held the flower in his hand, walking away in a cheery mood.

END

* * *

><p>Glupyĭ malʹchik means 'silly boy' in Russian. Poka is an informalcasual/friendly way of saying goodbye in Russian.

This one took a while to write and personally I like the interaction between Ivan and Nicholas. And the reason the both remember names is because Nicholas never forgot Ivan's name and Ivan cannot forget what he has done. Though he doesn't remember Gilbert's name because he had just simply forgotten it.

Who knows if there will be another story for this, if someone gives me another idea, that would be delightful.

Please review, but please do not bash my story for that would be terrible and make you a very bad person, I worked very hard on this.


End file.
